Sometimes life moves very very slow and sometimes it moves incredibly fast. This year being back in Malawi it has moved so very fast, I can’t believe that my miracle baby is 1 year old. When Luke and I were married 13 years ago, if you had told me I would be raising a baby in Malawi, I would have said you were crazy. I thought it would be a fun blog post to share his birth story with you around his first birthday.
Prenatal care in Malawi is so much different than in America. I was well taken care of and Aaron was safe and had proper medical care but it is different. I went to an American doctor as my primary prenatal care doctor who has been in Malawi a long time and she was so wonderful. At our 26 week appointment she looked at me and said things look good, I don’t need to see you again until you are in labor. My face went white and I almost fell off my chair. We discussed things and then all agreed it would be best if she saw me one more time before returning to the States at 33 weeks
Then I arrived in America and had my first appointment shortly after arrival at my doctor. The first thing you need to do is check into reception downstairs. Well we didn’t know that, so we went all the way upstairs to be told you have to check into reception downstairs. Here everyone talks pretty slow English because it is not their native tongue. We have learned to listen and talk at a slower pace. Well at reception the person spoke so fast I couldn’t even process what he was saying. So he paused and looked at Luke and I for our answer. We just stood there having no idea what he just said. We asked him to please slow down. When we saw the doctor, I was told I was of mature maternal age and we needed an ultra sound on a weekly basis starting in 2 weeks. So I went from not needing to be seen until I deliver, to being high risk and needing ultrasounds on a weekly basis. Let’s just say the culture shock was a little overwhelming.
But all the appointments went well and the doctor’s permitted me to travel back and forth to Lafayette even though they said I really shouldn’t be. We had a scheduled C-Section for February 15th, we prayed and decided that if I went into labor before that we would do a vaginal birth, if not then we would do a C-section.
On February 8th we made our way to our last check up before the scheduled C-section. It was a snowy day but we made it there. We had our ultrasound and to our dismay Aaron did not “pass” the Ultrasound. They said he wouldn’t do a practice breath within 30 minutes which means he was starting to be in distress. I had another test which he passed and the doctor assured me that she felt Aaron was fine but she wanted to do a C-section that day. Well that was not what I had planned at all. I didn’t even have my overnight bag packed, it was mostly packed luckily but not all the way. And I didn’t even have it with me. Weirdly enough I had my contacts case and glasses with me, which is rare for me. It was snowy so Luke didn’t have time to run back to get anything so we just went to the hospital.
I have to admit I was a little panicked. We got to the waiting room, took a picture of me just before delivery for Facebook, and Luke asks me what the baby’s middle name will be. Luke picked out the first name so I got to pick the middle name. Luke and I had talked about two options which we both liked. I have to admit that I hadn’t thought about it for a while and had no idea what I was going to settle on. All of a sudden I said I think it should be Glen. Well this was not even in the choice of names. Luke about fell over and started laughing really loud. Glen was my grandfather’s name, from my mom’s side of the family. He was a kind gentle man that died when I was really little, but I know he loved me greatly and my mom. So I choose him as the namesake. At least it is a funny story that we have on the crazy day of his birth.
Due to a cancelled appointment the doctor came earlier then we thought so they took me to do my spinal tap. With Mark, I had a C-section but with an epidural. So this was new, They said Luke couldn’t come back until just before delivery. Well Luke is my center, he is my calm when I am a wreck. We didn’t know if Aaron was okay and then they separate me from Luke. They do the spinal tap and then they tell me I have to lay back quickly. Well, quick things freak me. Then I see them pull my legs up. So I literally start shouting, “Stop, My legs hurt don’t do that.” My legs are numb at this point but I am panicking and am still yelling loudly. So I try to move my legs myself and they are numb so I can’t and I am still screaming. The anesthesiologist was a little Indian guy. He asks another person to go get her husband now. So they run to get Luke as I am freaking out and yelling at the top of my lungs. Then the sweet doctor he holds my hand and tells me it is okay. I don’t know why that helped but it did. Now cultures are very different so I know in his culture this is probably culturally inappropriate to hold my hand, but I am so grateful he did. I calmed right down and by the time Luke came in I was fine. I told him the story later when I was apologizing to the nurses for my bad behavior and he still thinks it is so funny. That is my crazy operating room story.
So Aaron comes out at 4:58p.m. on February 8th. He wasn’t just a little upset he was very mad. He screamed and screamed and screamed. They probably thought that our family is full of yellers. He was screaming so loud the doctor immediately told me that there was nothing wrong with his lungs. He was in the same room as me as they are stitching me up. I had seen him but not really held him (which I knew from Mark’s birth, so it was okay). Luke was with him and kept coming back and saying he was fine. He was 9 lbs. 1 oz. and really healthy and the baldest baby the doctor had ever seen.
So Luke held him and he calmed slightly but after 20 minutes he was still screaming. I said wow he is really mad. So the nurse brings me this screaming baby. I am still being stitched up and lying flat on my back and she says, “Do you want to hold him?” They probably got concerned but I said not really. I am on my back, how can I calm him like that. But they said let’s just try it. Well Aaron stopped crying instantly. I hadn’t even talked yet he just stopped. It brings tears to my eyes to this day. What an amazing immediate connection that you have with your own child.
I thought Aaron’s birth story was a good example that sometimes things don’t go as you thought or planned. But life just continues whether you want it or not.
And My God never left me at all. He protected Aaron and me during the pregnancy. He led me to the perfect doctors and anesthesiologist. He calmed Aaron and me on the operating table. And he brought me this beautiful frisky baby that I wouldn’t trade for anything.
So if things haven’t gone as planned. Hold on, keep walking. And know God will never forsake you. Luke and I waited 8 long years to hold our 2nd biological baby. Some days it felt it would never happen. He blessed us with Miriam and the blessing of having a little girl. Yes we had many trials, but the wait was worth it. And your wait will be worth it too. No matter what God has instore for you, he is always with you.
The next blog post will be about passing out the rest of the books that were donated and then continue with talking about what it is like to raise a baby in another culture.